2nd day worst than the 1st

My daughter is now in 3rd grade, I was okay yesterday. By ok, I mean I cried a little after we walked her up to the front of the building and found the line she was supposed to be in, then she said "You guys can go now". Little stab in the heart but I was sort of expecting it. We've been discussing alot lately what a big girl she is and how proud of her we are for things she can do independently. This year she's even with The Big Kids up at the front of the school for drop off and pick up(which is another story rant I'll share at another time about how no one does it correctly) unlike last year when she was still at the back with The Little Kids. We didn't leave, we just backed up behind all the kids and parents still 'allowed' to stand with their child, she didn't know we were still watching until she was looking through pictures on my phone last night. She wasn't mad, she just said innocently "Oh, I didn't know you were back there". I said "yea, we stuck around til you went in the building". BUT TODAY, DAY 2...I'm a complete mess. I am almost embarrassed to say how sad I feel. My house is so quiet when SassyPants is not home. I'm doing my normal stay-at-home-Mom crap I always do but my heart is hurting. Today she let go of my hand a little sooner and I physically noticed and felt it. I thought she needs me just a little less. I can say oh yes, watch her sore and I'd be proud, but damn if it didn't make me want to curl into the fetal position and bawl my eyes out. I spent most of the morning just in like a clouded funk. I sent a text to my Biffy to tell her what a baby I'm being and her response was what I needed, like usual, only a best friend KNOWS sometimes even when we ourselves don't, She said Don't you dare discount or feel bad about how you are feeling. It's ok. Two little words: It's Ok. I was better after that, I cried some more but I was ok. I sent a text to two of the other mothers with kids in the same class with my daughter and they are sad too. I told them It's Ok and You Are Not Alone. I see some Mom's posts of dropping their kid off at college over the past weekend and they are commenting how time sure flew by and they were just babies and now off to college...I cannot even fathom the feelings they are having right now. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I want SassyPants to be independent, kind, loving, smart, proud, funny, beautiful, happy and successful in whatever she chooses BUT... Mama ain't gonna be holding it completely together...how will I hide it? I supposed I will know when the time comes...ugh....................