Spaghetti Sauce Splat

I swear to God, every single fucking time I make spaghetti, and by make I mean brown a lb. of hamburger and dump in two jars of spaghetti sauce while I boil the water to dump in the box of not from scratch whole wheat noodles, the sauce gets hot and bubbles and out comes a splat of sauce. I have an apron. It's hanging on the little hook I bought especially for said apron. My daughter's apron hangs on top of it for the 2 times a year she decides she wants to wear it, once a year is at cookie baking day right before Christmas, the other day is usually some random day like Can I make tuna today, Mom? And she walks over to the apron like she puts it on all the time. Damn 8 year old showin' me up. Anywho, splat, right on my shirt. I put on my apron. It's very cute too, my best friend bought it for me. Again, I swear to God, nothing pops, spills or splats after I put on the fucking apron.